Flights

Call me “Flip”

By Mar-Vic Cagurangan

HAGATNA—“Call it retirement community or nursing home,” a friend corrected me when I mentioned something about “home for the aged.”

     “All my life, I’ve known it as home for the aged,” I told him.

         

“But you must be politically correct,” he added.

Oh, that’s right. Calling a manamko center “nursing home” or  “retirement’ community” would reduce one’s age. I should call it that then.

     Days before that, another person corrected me when I mentioned “janitorial services.”

     “Say custodial services; that sounds better. And nowadays, they are called floor managers, not janitors,” he said.

     Which makes me wonder if  a) they get paid higher now that they have a fancy title; and b) their names come after the names of the general manager and personnel manager in the order of corporate hierarchy.

     In another occasion, I was described as racist for calling Oprah  “a black woman.” Well, I thought she was black. And what’s wrong with black? I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. I see elegance in that color. I would call Michael Jackson a white man, because he is.

Call me a brown woman. I don’t have any problem with that. Only whitening lotion, which I never use anyway, would change my skin color. You may call me “midget” and I won’t take offense. Calling me “height challenged” would not give me extra inches, would it? You may even call me “Flip.” I guess I am.

Every now and then, I get persecuted by the Language Police. This “political correct” movement has been around for over two decades but I have barely gotten used to it. I don’t understand why saying the words that we have been introduced to since we started uttering our first word is now considered heresy. I don’t understand the need to deconstruct and reconstruct the English language if it’s not going to change reality.

Back home, Filipino workers who work abroad used to be known as OCW (overseas contract workers.) Then came the administration of Cory Aquino, who gave OCW a synonym: “modern-day heroes.” Which was the most ridiculous thing to say because prodigal Filipinos leave the country for the least patriotic reason.

OCW was later changed to OFW (overseas Filipino workers). Former President Fidel Ramos attempted to further change it to OFI (overseas foreign investors). Overseas what? Give us a break. “OFI” didn’t catch on because even the most gullible detected the anomaly in that.

The Philippine government wouldn’t have to go through the hassle of making up silly acronyms if it was capable of generating jobs for Filipino workers at home.

A Filipino maid in the Middle East is a maid. A blind person is blind. A homosexual is homosexual. And I’m not even embarrassed to employ clichés. A spade is a spade.

This mob tyranny called political correctness only makes people feel bad about what they are. It’s a slogan that attempts to institutionalize irrational fears as “truth” through the use of presumptuous words.

I’m afraid that this cult that spreads what Charles Heston aptly calls “epidemic of new McCarthyism will later give rise to Orwell’s Thought Police. Telling us what to think and what to do can’t be far behind.

A few years ago, David Howard, the head of Washington DC Office of Public Advocate, was fired and told to make a public apology after saying the word “niggardly” while discussing budgetary matters with colleagues. Howard was fired because that office employed some morons who a) didn’t know the meaning of the word; b) didn’t know how to use the dictionary to discover that “niggardly” means stingy or scanty; and c) actually demanded that he apologize for their ignorance.

A moron is a moron. No amount of political correctness would contribute to one’s IQ.

I believe in plain speaking.  I believe in expressing unfettered thoughts.  Unless plain speaking is allowed, clear thinking is denied.  I may be on the Language Police’s order of battle, but I will not plead and say “Don’t shoot me.”

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 6th, 2005 at 7:50 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.